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Sunday, September 7, 2014

The gate of convent is closed for me forever

A Polish girl wrote me a letter

          I write to you to share my joy with you. Little by little, my health goes better, and I am able not only to work, but also to pray, which was impossible for much time. This time with Jesus is sweet as never before. I am able to attend the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, finding peace of heart and goodness of Lord. But also strength to be full of charity and compassion for others. You see, my sickness is a gift of the Lord, a cross, but so long I did not have the courage to love it really deeply. Than I understood how little I have to be to live, as Sainte Therese says, not as an adult, but as a child, and find little ways to console Jesus, as I am unable to do these that are great. I can't fast, I can't say long prayers, I can't even go for the Mass every day. So, I asked little Therese what to do... and she gave me the answer, answer is LOVE... wise, sweet and never tired. This love is a center of our religion, a heart of Church... love going through silent immolation of our own will to fulfill the Will of God... I found a good priest who even believed that I could go to Carmel, he is so good. But I know how Sainte Therese of Avila judged admission to such convents... I have no illusions.

Dear D., I found a lot of joy reading your blog, even if I know that the gate of convent is closed for me forever. But I also know that THE SPIRIT of religious life can be lived even in the world, if we have straight intention. It is of course better to live in a convent, it is simpler, when we are called... but how sweet is to abandon in the Heart of Jesus all our dreams, even the most noble. And to live in the world not being from it... as St John the Apostle teaches.

I pray for you... may Divine Heart grant you a lot of consolation for the work that you are doing for souls seeking the top of the Mountain of Perfection...

Your sister in Jesus,
(signed letter)